Bloody Hands
by Pizzashoes
Summary: Natasha Romanoff has reunited with an unlikely old friend. As things after the Civil War blow over, Bucky is hanging around the Avengers mansion more. Natasha is reminded of her past and Bucky is still terrified of his, the two bond and become better friends than before. Bucky/Natasha with a smattering of Vision/Wanda and others.
1. Ballet Class

"Natalia." Bucky called from down the hallway, his voice accidentally taking on a slight Russian accent when he spoke her given name.

She turned, her red hair was pulled up into a curly pony-tail, a very rare occurrence. Paling slightly, remembering that the last time she had spoken to the winter soldier directly was when he was choking her. She was going to kill Tony for not giving her a heads up that Bucky and Steve were visiting the new Avengers mansion today.

"Hi." Was all she could say as he came up to her and she tore the rubber band from her hair, the shoulder length red falling around her face and making her feel secure again.

"I was hoping I could speak with you for a little bit." He asked politely.

She frowned minutely. He wasn't anything like before. This was Bucky Barnes, and despite the recognition she saw glimmering in his eyes, she also saw a familiar darkness. This wasn't the same man she had known before, but a newer version. One who had been through a lot of back and forth. She scrutinized his storming eyes for a moment then stiffly nodded.

"It's...good to see you again, lyubimaya devushka." He hesitated for a second but his tone remained...fond. The familiar nickname he had given her all those years ago sent her ears ringing. 'любимая девушка' which meant 'darling girl'. The term made her head spin and her mind transported to when they had first met.

* * *

The red room wasn't a pretty place, despite the antique and flawless decor that disguised it as a ballet studio. You stepped out of line in training you got hurt. Badly. Late for ballet? The thin wooden switch would become very good friends with the inside of your hands, and you would have to dance after anyways, with the blood dripping and the other girls whispering. Afterwords the 'nurses' would almost dotingly attend to your hands so there wouldn't be any scarring.

Natalia was ten. Smaller than the other girls, but faster and lithe. What she didn't have in strength she made up for with grace.

Her teacher favored her and she paid dearly for it, but that only made her want to succeed even more. Every time the girls would hide her pointe shoes and make her late for class she would take the switch with a vacant expression like it didn't even bother her and dance harder that day, even if the blood from her hands trickled down on her head after raising them above in beautiful sweeping motions.

They had a visitor one day at such a practice. A man in a jacket with a hood, his strong jaw line and quiet gaze intimidating many of the girls. Natalia felt his stare and danced harder, the blood from her hands not stopping her from landing her leaps perfectly and following the nearly silent piano. Her trick wasn't to focus on her own body or anything else, but on the quiet notes that drifted through the air. They never got to listen to any music if it wasn't for ballet.

The man watched for half of the class and then stood. Her teacher walked over to him and spoke with her silently for a moment while the girls did sashes and turns.

Natalia's 'uchitel' or 'teacher' stopped the class, and the girls nervously swayed to a standstill.

"Natalia. Come." She said almost lovingly. The ten year old complied immediately, waltzing up to her Mistress. "The rest of you head to your next class early." She said dismissively.

The red-head felt glares bore into her back. That's what they got when they didn't just hide her shoes, but her leotard as well. She had one this battle. The man nervously glanced around the empty room.

"You have chosen well. Natalia is our best here. Highly trained." Her uchitel' boasted as her hands rested on the young girls shoulders. "She isn't always the most punctual, but she will strive to be perfect from now on." Long nails dug into her skin a little bit.

"All I need is someone obedient and good at acting." He said urgently, looking like he wanted to leave.

"Natalia is an excellent choice for that." Her hands smoothed up Nats neck and onto her round face.

"Yes. I need a picture of someone who looks like her mother and then we will leave immediately." He ordered quickly.

Her teacher was practically glowing. "Yes. Right away. Natalia, go with the man and wait at the front, I will have your things fetched."

Natalia nodded. "Thank you, uchitel'." She said with a rare smile, following after the man as he turned.

They waited in silence in the floyë as a nurse tended to her hands and wrapped them. One of the butlers came out with her bag and handed a folder to the man. "Her papers."

The man glanced inside and nodded, then took Natalia's bag from her as she tried to lift it with her thin arms. He pulled out a black jacket and leggings with a purple shirt and handed the clothes to her.

"Go change." He ordered, but not in the harsh way she was used to. She was in the outfit in thirty seconds after going into the bathroom and stepped out barefooted. He nodded, handing her some red sneakers that she slipped on just as quickly.

"This way." He said to her quietly. They walked outside to a sleek black motorcycle parked on the street. He placed her bag on the back of it and clipped it in, then shoved the papers in the zippered part, closing it with an efficient flick. He then bent down to her level and lifted her up onto the front of the bike. His gloved hand was hard against her ribs, almost like metal, but he was gentle. A lady dashed out of the building and handed him a small black motorcycle helmet, that he gave to her. She tried to put it on but he stopped her with his gentle bare hand. His grip went up to her hair which was up in a sleek bun and she braced herself for a sharp pull that didn't come. The rubber band was taken from her hair softly, and the stubborn curls fell around her face. Tears brimmed her eyes and she prayed he wouldn't notice as he placed the helmet on for her and got on the bike behind her, putting on his own helmet.

They sped off down the streets through alley ways and on the high way as she sat securely in front of him gripping the bike as he steered.

They stopped behind a hotel and she swallowed as she looked up at the building.

He lifted her off the bike and left the helmets on it, taking her bag only. The back door of the hotel opened and a person from the kitchen escorted them inside to a secret elevator that only had a few buttons. The man pressed them in a pattern and a little compartment opened to scan his eyes.

They went down to a dungeon like floor level, but as the doors opened a beautiful hotel room was splayed out in front of them. He moved through the room, grabbing the papers out of the leather bag they had given her and throwing it into the incinerator in the wall.

She stood in the middle of the room, unsure what to do as he rifled through drawers and threw different clothes in bags. His vacant expression scared her, but was also interesting. He displayed no fear or pain. She admired that, and wished she was the same way.

"You can sit." He said after finishing putting things together.

She nodded and sat on the plush couch, her feet not touching the floor.

He walked over and sat on the couch across from her, an odd sight as he didn't look like he belonged there.

"Your name is Natalia Koval. Nine years old. Your tenth birthday is November seventh, two weeks from today. I am Vadim Koval, your father. You will call me 'papa'. I am thirty five years old, your mother died while giving birth to you at twenty three years old. Her name was Nadia Koval." He finished.

She nodded. "I'm Natalia Koval, nine years old. My birthday is November seventh, and I am excited for it. My Papas name is Vadim Koval, and my mamas name was Nadia."

He smirked sadly. "You are smart for your age."

"Thank you, Papa." She replied genuinely.

He looked around the room, a sadness filling his eyes. "I am the soldier, though you may only call me Papa or Father from now on. I am a broker who travels with my daughter. I will not harm you in any way on this mission, but you will obey my every order. You may speak when not spoken to at any time without consequence, and you must act your age."

She nodded.

"If you blow our cover we will both die." He warned.

"I won't, Papa." She reassured him.

"Very good." He smiled. "You look just like you're mama, lyubimaya devushka."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading my first chapter! Review cause its my first fic!**


	2. Behind the Boy Scout

Natasha blinked rapidly, flustered by the sudden use of a long dead nickname she had loved so much as a child for that month she spent with the man who acted more like an older brother than a 'papa' to her. He had been her dear friend.

"Yes, James Barnes. Nice to meet you again." She said coldly, holding out her hand for a shake. He took her hand and raised it to his lips, giving it a soft kiss.

"You have grown beautifully, Natalia." He complimented her.

"Thank you. You haven't aged a day." She quipped, folding her arms in front of her and throwing up a wall.

"I got my head fixed but my memories are still a little...mixed up. But I remember you, even though you're freckles have gone." He smiled at her and she stared at him blankly.

"They still come out in the sun." She sighed. "It's good to see you again, I'm glad you aren't trying to kill me this time."

He grimaced, remembering his hands wrapped around her throat. "I'm...sorry. I-I should go." He said, turning and walking away.

"Wait." She said, heaving another sigh as he turned back to her, letting the wall down. "It really is good to see you again."

He walked back up to her an held out his hand. "Bucky Barnes." He re-introduced himself.

"Natasha Romanoff." She took his hand, shaking it lightly.

"You live here?" He wondered, gazing around the polished wooden hallway.

"Unfortunately. It's noisy and everyone is crazy, but it's a second home." She informed him.

"Ochen' khorosho." He said in Russian, which meant 'very nice.' "What's the first?" He wondered, putting his hands in his pockets.

"Hmm." was all she said.

"Don't trust me?" He asked.

"Why should I? You're like me." She said.

"You don't trust yourself? Thought I was the only one." He replied glancing at the ground.

"I'm the only person I trust. Steve and Clint...maybe." She explained.

"Steve? How so?" He wondered a little...jealously?

"He always does what he thinks is right, which may not be the most interesting trait, but one not many people have."

"When did you two meet?" He asked, curious.

"Through the Avengers initiative set up by Shield. Not the most organic meeting, but a memorable one."

"Why? What happened?"

"We almost fell out of the sky, I had to hit Clint over the head, and one of our own was downed."

"Sounds stressful." He said with a sigh.

"Little bit." She said. "What are you doing here today?"

Bucky paused, searching for an answer. "Well. I murdered Starks parents. I...thought I'd come to see if there was any redemption."

"Forgiveness?" She asked, her jaw tightening.

"That would be more than I deserve, and I don't think he should ever forgive me. I'm here to sign the treaty."

"I wasn't aware that was happening today. Tony must really be out of it." She said, looking at the watch on her wrist.

"It's in an hour." He told her and she grinned.

"Thanks for the heads up. I'll see you there." She said, nodding at him and then turning.

"Where are you going?" He asked, walking beside her.

"To shower." She said with a smirk.

"Oh." He mumbled, and he stopped walking. "Right. I'll leave you to that. See you later." He said, turning the other direction.

Nat thought about how much Bucky was actually like Steve as she got ready for the meeting. Steve was a great man and everything, Captain America. But behind him was his best friend, who wasn't as much of a Boy Scout. It intrigued her that Steve would give so much slack to his friend, and wondered what Bucky had been like before that had earned such special treatment.

When she had known him he had been more...Russian.

She was ready quickly, her hair drying in her signature curls as she pulled on some boots.

Glancing at the time she rushed to the elevator and went down to Tony's lab, to find a VERY hungover billionaire passed out on a metal table, an empty bottle of scotch in his hand.

She walked over to his suits and picked up a metal arm brace and lifted it high above the table, letting it fall with a loud bang.

Tony shot up with a yell and looked around confusedly, his unfocused eyes landing on her as he sighed.

"Good morning to you too." He grumbled, swinging his legs over the side of the table and coughing.

"Meeting is in fifteen minutes."

"Thanks Ms. Potts." He said sarcastically referring to his ex. "The treaty meeting. Meeting treaty. Will there be treats at this meeting?" He said with a chuckle.

"You're still drunk." She remarked with a frown.

"Yes that's a given. What happened to you being nice to me?"

"That was before Shield turned out to be Hydra."

"And you found out you weren't an angel sent from above?"

"Do you ever think about what you say before you open your mouth?" She wondered.

"I think too much. That's the problem." He grunted, getting off the table. He felt his left arm and frowned. "My arm is numb."

Natasha's eyes widened, walking up to him and gripping his arm. "Has this happened before?"

"Yeah. All the time, though right now it feels...I don't know different than before." He grimaced.

"When did this start?" She asked, concerned.

"Uh. I don't know. Around the time the Avengers split." He said, squeezing his arm.

"That was nearly a year ago. Are you meaning to tell me you have been getting signs of heart attack for that long without letting anyone know?"

"I was too busy-" he stopped, gasping and clutching his chest. He fell towards the table and sunk to the floor with Natasha's help.

"Friday. Call an ambulance." She ordered the AI.

"Yes Miss. Tony's vitals are showing signs of cardiac arrest."

"Have you informed the others?" Natasha asked.

"They're on their way now." Friday said just as two people burst through the stair door entrance. Steve and Bucky.

"What's going on?" Steve asked, walking up to Natasha who was checking Tony's pulse.

"Heart attack. I think I induced it. We need to get him to the hospital now."

"Got it." Steve said. "Bucky, get his other side." He ordered, and his friend nodded. Each of them putting one of Tony's arms around their shoulders and lifting him up off the ground, heading toward the elevator. Natasha smashed the button several hundred times, and the doors slid open just as the three men came up to it.

They got up to the ground level where Wanda and Vision met them and Tony's head lolled and they had to lay him down on the ground.

"What's going on?" Wanda asked, panic filling her voice.

Steve checked Tony's pulse. "His heart isn't beating." He said urgently. Wanda gasped.

"You know CPR?" Natasha asked him, a look of complete terror on her face.

"The last time I did CPR on someone they died." Steve said, freezing. Natasha felt the same way.

Bucky glanced at Steve and Nat for a split second and didn't miss a beat, placing his hands on Tony's chest and pumping his heart for him in perfect time, then blowing air into his mouth.

After the longest three minutes of everyone's lives, Vision informed Bucky that he had successfully restarted Tony's heart, just as the paramedics arrived. By then the rest of both the Avengers and the secret Avengers were gathered in the room.

They put Tony on a stretcher and placed a breathing mask on him as everyone watched in terror.

Natasha prayed for the first time in a long time, that everything would be alright.


	3. A close call

Tony awoke to a red-head by his side, but not the one he had been expecting. "Pepper?"

"Tony." Pepper said, squeezing his hand, her eyes bloodshot as she sighed relief.

"Here to see me off?" he asked bitterly, turning from her.

"Tony...I still love you. I'm afraid of losing you, that's why I decided it would be best that I leave. And…" tears filled her eyes and she choked on a sob. "I meant to tell you. I can't have children."

Tony's eyes widened as he stared at her, not sure for once about what he should say to her.

"Its taken me a long time to even move on. I...should have told you that was the real reason I needed to lea-" she tried to reason but was cut off by Tony who wrapped his arms around her and held her securely. "Tony! You just had a heart attack."

"I'm fine it's just a heart attack." he said comically "Are you alright?" he wondered pulling away and holding her face in his hands. Her expression turned to pain and she sobbed, the light in her eyes gone.

"No." she told him simply, and broke down in front of him. "I-I missed you s-so much."

"Missed you more, Potts. You're all I've got." he said tugging her onto the bed with him. She complied and laid next to him, her face next to his as sobs racked her body.

He petted her hair and stroked her cheeks, wiping away the large tears as they rolled down her face, whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

After she cried herself out, and Tony had uncharacteristically shed a few tears as well, he asked her to marry him.

And she accepted.

* * *

Bucky got off the hospital elevator, and walked to the room where Tony Stark laid in bed, a ton of Avengers filling the room, enough that there was a spill over into the hallway.

He gripped the small box in his pocket, and Steve saw him approaching from the doorway to Tony's room.

"Hey. We told him about what you did, and he wants to talk with you." Steve informed his best friend, patting his shoulder. "Where have you been? You're covered in dirt."

"Nowhere. Should I go in now?" Bucky deflected, asking hesitantly.

"Sure." Steve said, his brow wrinkling in concern.

They peaked around the doorway to find Tony wearing an ACDC shirt lying in the bed holding Peppers hand securely as she sat beside him laughing.

"It was totally your fault. Scared me half to death just to wake me up." He said to Natasha who rolled her eyes.

"The only one who's fault this is is the genius who decided not to let anyone know he was having heart problems." Clint replied with a chuckle from beside Nat.

"I concur. You should have informed us, Tony." Vision said, lifting the water off the nightstand and holding it out for him. "Now you must drink water to maintain a healthy alkaline balance."

Tony accepted the glass with a smirk. "Thanks Mommy." he quipped, taking a swig and handing it back.

"He's just concerned about you Tony." Wanda said, putting a hand on Vision's shoulder.

"We all were. Next time you pull that crap I'll kick your-" Clint tried to say but was stopped by Natasha's hand.

"What he means to say is that you should have told us. We're your team." Nat chastised.

"Yeah. That's why I didn't tell you. It's not like any of you wouldn't be able to move past me once I bit the pixie dust."

"That's plainly not true, sir-" Vision tried to say but stopped, looking confused for a moment.

"Visions right. Tell us when you're having trouble next time." Steve piped up, and Pepper nodded in agreement. "And dammit go to AA. Your liver is going to fail." He added, anger in his tone, and Sam and Rhodey nodded silently in the corner.

Everyone turned to the Captain with wide eyes as Bucky shrunk behind the doorway out of view. It was an unspoken rule that no one talked about Tony's alcohol problem. Ever. Especially in front of his face.

Tony burst into laughter after a tense moment, and everyone relaxed.

"Finally someone said it." Rhodey sighed as Tony continued to laugh.

"Indeed." Vision said with an almost tangible air of relief around him as Wanda rubbed his back. Who knows how many years Jarvis had wanted to tell Tony to quit poisoning himself, but wasn't allowed to.

"Right away, Captain." Tony said with a salute, a genuine smile on his face. "Speaking of frozen treats, where's the Bucksicle?"

Steve snorted as the others looked surprised. Tony only used nicknames as a term of endearment.

Steve pulled Bucky's metal arm into the room, dragging him in.

"Theres the murderer." Tony said in a joking tone as everyone flinched.

Bucky's throat closed and he stared at the ground. Tony got up from the bed despite the others protests, and walked over the man with long brown hair. The billionaire held out his hand for a shake and Bucky looked at it like it was an alien, then after a good twenty seconds of continued silence and staring, he took Tony's hand with his real one.

Tony shook it decidedly and briefly. "I still hate you. But if the twenty four year old over here can forgive me for killing her parents-" he said, gesturing to Wanda. "I can let go of you killing mine when you were brainwashed and tortured into doing it."

Bucky looked shocked beyond all belief, words escaping him completely as he stared at Tony. He pulled the small box out of his jacket pocket and held it out to him, looking away like a young boy would as he gave his crush a present.

"And this is the part where you propose...?" asked Tony, taking the small box and opening it.

Inside laid his mother's ring.

"I heard you were getting married from Steve." Bucky said.

Tony gazed at the ring. "You dug her up?" he asked, a little frustration seeping into his tone.

"I didn't disturb her. I got the ring and put everything back exactly the same." Bucky assured him.

Tony sighed. "Creepy." Tony stated, and Steve frowned. "But nice. Thanks."

Tony turned to Pepper and got on one knee in his ACDC shirt and jeans.

"You sure you want to marry me, Potts?" he asked the strawberry blonde, opening up the small blue box to reveal a giant diamond ring that sparkled like the sun.

"No. But I'm going to anyways." Pepper said, and the avengers clapped as he put the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly.

Scott Lang and Hope Pym walked in the room, taking in the scene.

"What'd we miss?" Scott asked, a donut box in his hands.

"Just my engagement and character development. Gimme one of those." he said reaching for the box.

"Mr. Stark, a deep fried donut is not a balanced or healthy meal for someone who's just had a heart attack." Vision informed him.

He turned to the android. "Vizh. When's the last time I did anything balanced or healthy?"

The Vision paused thinking back on it. "Good point." he admitted as Tony took a bite of the donut.

* * *

 **Thank you for reading this far! More Nat and Bucky in the next chapter. Don't forget to review!**


	4. Secret Conversations

**I would like to thank google translate for this chapter.**

* * *

Natasha walked to the rec room to find her teammates all gathered together there playing different games. Clint and Tony were playing VR video games as Wanda and Vision watched and commentated. Scott and Hope played foosball furiously, and just as Hope won Scott called for a rematch and she laughed. Steve, and Bucky played pool in the corner of the room while Sam and Rhodey placed bets and arm wrestled. She walked over to her mentor and the Captain and watched as the two best friends played off each other.

Remixed swing music played throughout the room as everyone laughed and talked.

"You're still the little brat from Brooklyn I had to drag to double dates. Don't even try to pretend you're not." Bucky talked smack in a Brooklyn accent, hitting a striped ball into a socket.

"Oooh. You gonna let him talk to you like that Cap?" Sam asked from the table, exerting his strength to beat Rhodey who was starting to sweat.

"Probably. He's saved me from getting the crap kicked out of me more times than I can count."

"Thats weird to hear you say." Rhodes said, shaking his head.

"Oh it's true." Bucky said with a nod and smile as he chalked up the end of his stick.

"Seems like you have a knack for getting people out of those kind of situations." Natasha said, snapping open two beers and handing one to him.

He took it gratefully, as everyone stared at them. Steve included. Rhodes was distracted and Sam won the arm wrestle.

"I wasn't aware you two were so...well acquainted. Natasha?" Cap asked her questioningly. " You didn't mention anything."

"It wasn't useful information at the time, and I was just as shocked as you were to see and old friend." Nat explained, sitting on a plush chair next to them.

"So when you said I shouldn't pull that thread you were talking from experience." Steve realized. She heard the betrayed sounding tone in his voice, and shook her head.

"It's not that simple, Steve. I would have let you know if it was important for you to know." she tried to reason.

"You gonna force everyone to talk about their past with you Steve? Last time I checked you weren't a therapist." Bucky, commented a little perturbed.

"No, but I thought either one of you might have told me something. Like how you even knew each other." he said, the pool game forgotten.

"I was ten. That's all you need to know." Natasha said, effectively shutting him up as she took a swig of her beer.

"You gonna shoot or not?" Bucky teased Steve.

"Still trying to wrap my head around it." Steve said, but shot anyways, missing the socket. "Damn."

"Vy sobirayetes' vyigrat'. Pozhaluysta.*" Nat said to Bucky, who looked at her then smiled.

"Spasibo." he replied.

"The Russian assassins are in cahoots. We're all going to die." Tony said, walking up after winning against Barton, who was now teaching Wanda how to play.

"Vy budete pervym." Nat said nonchalantly.

"Translation?" Steve asked Tony.

"Apparently I'm their first target." Tony explained.

Steve raised his eyebrows and glanced at Nat and Bucky.

"On, navernoye, dumayet, chto my ser'yezno." Bucky told Natasha and she grinned.

"Oh he definitely thinks you're joking. What about is the question for him." Tony directed at Bucky.

"I should learn Russian. Maybe then I'll understand what the hell you two are talking about." Steve said, shaking his head.

"Yazyk. I'll get you a book. Till then you're on your own...and even then, the two of them might come up with a secret yazyk at some point that none of us understand." Tony said, walking towards the fridge to get a beer himself. Steve frowned.

"Yesli vy kasayetes' , chto pivo vy budete nakhodit'sya v toy zhe lodke, kak Barnes zdes'." Natasha said to Tony who paused and looked at Bucky who wiggled his metal fingers.

"Cream soda it is then." Tony replied.

"Get me that book today." Steve said.

* * *

Translation of Russian in order.

"You're going to win now. Your welcome."-Nat

"Thank you."-Bucky

"You will be the first."-Nat

"He probably thinks we are serious."-Bucky

"Language. I'll get you a book."-Tony

"If you touch that beer you will be in the same boat as Barnes here."-Nat

* * *

 **Please review! XOXO**


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